feeling happy, but so horrible!

[TheAnetry]

have you ever cheated on your boyfriend, by having sex with youe ex-boyfriend and you existing man still wanted you!?

Well that happened to me! I'm with daniel for about 3 months now, but i'm still very good friends with my ex-bf phil, who textes me and calls me whenever he needs something or to just ask if I'm ok.
Me and Dan (my bf) keep having little arguments. It's really bad, because he's got social phobia, which means he can't go out or meet new people, because he's scared! I keep trying to get him out to places, because that's the only way he can get used to it. When he doesn't want to i say it's fine and stay at home with him. But one day i couldnt handle it, i needed to do something with my self, so i left his house, in the middle of an argument. I don't really have many friends to talk to, so i went round my ex-bf's house, and so to cheer me up he sarted hugging me and he kissed me! and then...you know. I was so angry, but aslo so scared! the next day daniel called me and said SORRY. I didnt tell him for 3 weeks that i cheated on him, until yesterday!
He...went absolutely mental! he pouched a hole in my bedroom wall! he was shouting "i'm gonna kill him!" i was shaking and crying cuz he kept asking "why" and shouting "what have i ever done to you?!" indeed he was really nice, just he kept getting upset with me when i wanted to go to places with out him. He went through all my stuff to find phil's number to call him. And he found it. He called him and had a massive go at him, saying he's gonna kill him and that he's a scum bag and just, i felt so embaressed! finally, he sat on my bed and started crying. I tried to hug him but he kept saying "get off", so i sat on my chair...crying. I wanted to say sorry, but there was no point because I knew he wouldn't want me back.
After a while he taped me on my shoulder and gave me a hug.
I just couldn't believe it! he still wanted me! he cried in my arms, and so did I!...of happiness. I really shouldn't be with him, because i know that i don't deserve him but also that if I said I want to leave, he'd think that I only cheated on him to get rid off him. He's last gf almost made him suicide, so I'm stuck. I do really like him, but we're taking it slowly. I feel like i lost so much trust in him. He's been so confident with me and, even he's mum said to me that he started eating well and going out more. It feels good, and it's gonna take a long time until he put his trust in me again. It may be shocking, but I'm only 16 and he is 18. this is like the first time it ever happened to me. In fact, it never crossed my mind that i would cheat! help what shall i do?!

[Stardust]

Well, you should support him and encourage him to go to different places.. If you know a place that you like that is crowded on the day but not evening..then encourage him going in the evening to the place..when he finds out it isnt all that bad maybe he can return on a day? Or you can go to a place..and he can turn back whenever he wants but you try atleast. You should not talk to your ex for a while.. if you really are into this guy then you should try to do things that so he can trust you again

[_Kitana_]

your a bitch....

and a slut. Going to your ex-bf for support is fine, letting him hug and kiss you is another thing.

At least the ex-boyfriend got a peice of ass.

You should be fucking a shame of yourself.

[meh_it_all]

Sorry not to rub it in, But maybe you made it worst by doing that to him? I'm amazed that he took you back, but amazing things can happen, Try not to do it again.
:)
:happysad:

[Nymphchick]

i can understand the trapped feeling, i'm not saying acting out on it was the brightest idea. but NO ONE here is in your place, so no one has the right to cast judgment. if he has a phobia then take it slow, maybe going out and just let him talk to you. i have a friend who has that. he just talks to me mainly, but he still comes out and we both have fun. he gets frustrated with sitting at home all the time, yet he can't talk to people, so at least when we go out he can sit, people watch(his fav thing) and enjoy himself, i talk with everyone and amuse him. so in the end he has fun in his own way.
about the trust issue, that will take forever to rebuild, if you do care for him, then do what you can. although once trust is gone, i don't think it ever really comes back. theres always a bit of doubt. so do what you can and communication is the biggest thing. next time your feeling isolate, trapped, etc, tell him. talk about it. maybe you both can find an activity you both can enjoy and get out at the same time. good luck!

[_Kitana_]

i can understand the trapped feeling, i'm not saying acting out on it was the brightest idea. but NO ONE here is in your place, so no one has the right to cast judgment. if he has a phobia then take it slow, maybe going out and just let him talk to you. i have a friend who has that. he just talks to me mainly, but he still comes out and we both have fun. he gets frustrated with sitting at home all the time, yet he can't talk to people, so at least when we go out he can sit, people watch(his fav thing) and enjoy himself, i talk with everyone and amuse him. so in the end he has fun in his own way.
about the trust issue, that will take forever to rebuild, if you do care for him, then do what you can. although once trust is gone, i don't think it ever really comes back. theres always a bit of doubt. so do what you can and communication is the biggest thing. next time your feeling isolate, trapped, etc, tell him. talk about it. maybe you both can find an activity you both can enjoy and get out at the same time. good luck!

I can diffently caste judgment that the girl like a whore showed a lack of judgment, self respect, respect for her boyfriend and her relationship... she doesn't even sound like she was drinking. So her upset, ran to him... liked the attention and fucked him... with no regard for her current b/f feelings.

I hate girls like that.

I hate cheaters all together.

[Nymphchick]

kit shes young, this is when lessons are learned. sounds like she learned it. she may lose him anyways. your being alittle harsh on her. ya she fucked up, no one is perfect, again shes only 16, teens aren't the brightest at the best of times, and who knows she could have been drunk. not everyone stays a virgin till they marry, some people like to test drive before they do. relax a bit, shes not married, so its not like cheating on a spouce. they've only been together for 3 months. besides, it wasen't you she cheated on............orwas it? :tongue:

[_Kitana_]

kit shes young, this is when lessons are learned. sounds like she learned it. she may lose him anyways. your being alittle harsh on her. ya she fucked up, no one is perfect, again shes only 16, teens aren't the brightest at the best of times, and who knows she could have been drunk. not everyone stays a virgin till they marry, some people like to test drive before they do. relax a bit, shes not married, so its not like cheating on a spouce. they've only been together for 3 months. besides, it wasen't you she cheated on............orwas it? :tongue:

Thats just not it. She not even mature enough to handle fucking.... When she gets an STD or gets knocked up...than what. Than I am stuck paying for another welfare baby because she was a whore. YAY!

16 and fucking around on her guy does not say a lot.

[FireAngel]

After a while he taped me on my shoulder and gave me a hug.
I just couldn't believe it! he still wanted me! he cried in my arms, and so did I!...of happiness. I really shouldn't be with him, because i know that i don't deserve him but also that if I said I want to leave, he'd think that I only cheated on him to get rid off him. He's last gf almost made him suicide, so I'm stuck. I do really like him, but we're taking it slowly. I feel like i lost so much trust in him. He's been so confident with me and, even he's mum said to me that he started eating well and going out more. It feels good, and it's gonna take a long time until he put his trust in me again. It may be shocking, but I'm only 16 and he is 18. this is like the first time it ever happened to me. In fact, it never crossed my mind that i would cheat! help what shall i do?!
Of course you lost his trust! I mean, duh! What were you expecting to happen? Personally, I am amazed that he took you back. You should be kissing his feet, thanking him over and over again for the second chance! He put his trust in you, and then you turned around and because you guys had an argument slept with your ex-boyfriend! Instead of running to your ex for comfort you should have waited for things to cool off and then talked to your current boyfriend about how you were feeling. He's probably going to be constantly worried now that you really want your ex-boyfriend, so you need to work on proving to him that you like him and only him. It's going to take a long time for that trust to be rebuilt.

[TheAnetry]

kit shes young, this is when lessons are learned. sounds like she learned it. she may lose him anyways. your being alittle harsh on her. ya she fucked up, no one is perfect, again shes only 16, teens aren't the brightest at the best of times, and who knows she could have been drunk. not everyone stays a virgin till they marry, some people like to test drive before they do. relax a bit, shes not married, so its not like cheating on a spouce. they've only been together for 3 months. besides, it wasen't you she cheated on............orwas it? :tongue:


no i don't drink or i don't smoke , i don't use any drugs ect, i just like to go out and have fun. But because i lost all my friends who are hunging out with phil so i didnt have much choice but go to him. i have no one to talk to. yes i am young and stupid, but we all learn, sometime sin a horrible way. i just wish that it never happened but there;s nothing i can do :*(
exept just be with daniel, and it's up to him if he wants to leave me, if he does then i will let him go, in the end...i earned it.

[meh_it_all]

no i don't drink or i don't smoke , i don't use any drugs ect, i just like to go out and have fun. But because i lost all my friends who are hunging out with phil so i didnt have much choice but go to him. i have no one to talk to. yes i am young and stupid, but we all learn, sometime sin a horrible way. i just wish that it never happened but there;s nothing i can do :*(
exept just be with daniel, and it's up to him if he wants to leave me, if he does then i will let him go, in the end...i earned it.
I guess it's good that you understand you did something wrong, and that you can't expect someone to just forgive. But he did. and you do need to get his trust back.

[Nymphchick]

earning trust back sometimes never happens, alls you can do is try. NO ONE is perfect, you can chalk this up as lesson learned and move on. your only 16, and may got through more relaitionships. just try not to repeat the cheating thing. if all your friends still hang out with the ex, then just try to hook up when hes doing something else. or just start dating the guy again! :tongue:

[_Kitana_]

no i don't drink or i don't smoke , i don't use any drugs ect, i just like to go out and have fun. But because i lost all my friends who are hunging out with phil so i didnt have much choice but go to him. i have no one to talk to. yes i am young and stupid, but we all learn, sometime sin a horrible way. i just wish that it never happened but there;s nothing i can do :*(
exept just be with daniel, and it's up to him if he wants to leave me, if he does then i will let him go, in the end...i earned it.


Like i said you should be ashamed.

[TheAnetry]

Like i said you should be ashamed.

i'm not saying i'm not ashamed. i feel like a total fool, and especially a looser to cheat on dan. i hated it. he totally doens't deserve it. :*(

[Stardust]

your a bitch....

and a slut. Going to your ex-bf for support is fine, letting him hug and kiss you is another thing.

At least the ex-boyfriend got a peice of ass.

You should be fucking a shame of yourself.

Oh i support that to, never ever cheat.
People loose respect cheating, in others eyes and your own eyes.

[_Kitana_]

i'm not saying i'm not ashamed. i feel like a total fool, and especially a looser to cheat on dan. i hated it. he totally doens't deserve it. :*(


Well here is just my thinking, it seems like whatever your saying is all for show. You say you weren't drinking and were completly in control of everything you were doing. So at any given second you could of said "NO!" I think you just liked the feeling of being wanted by guy and acted on it.

Which tells me and possible yourself that you need to stop and think VERY hard on why it happened and rethink which direction you are walking. I would try to remember that " A Lady can become a whore but a whore can never become a lady." Maybe you need to think about not having sex or anything until you are able to make more responsible choices.

[Jessica43999]

All I can say is that you're really lucky he took you back. You were totally out-of-line cheating on him (and that's sayint it nicely). Never ever do anything like that again. Because your boyfriend must move you allot. You don't wanna loose that!