[BERSERKER]
03-23-2008, 11:01 AM
Day 1: Road trip. The 4.5 hour drive from Fort Benning to Green Cove Springs. I meet my buddy's family, who are indeed insane in the coolest way. I drink Everglow and get smashed. I find my sandals in a tree. This is the first pair of sandals I have worn, other than the shower sandals I own. I am happy to have found them. They have bottle openers.
Day 2: We wake up and strart drinking at 9 a.m., then go to St. Augustine beach. I find out that St. Augustine is the oldest city in the country. I see Lion's Bridge and learn an interesting story about how the guy that carved the Lions commited suicide because he forgot to put in tongues.
Whatever. The beach is great. Totally non-legal girls are flirting with me because I have tattoos and booze. I get a mild tan and get totally shitfaced. Me and some other guy amuse ourselves by hurling insults at teenage boys and fat people. I discover a resturaunt called... something... and I eat fried shrimp for about an hour and get even more hammered. That night, we come home and drink even more.
Day 3: My buddy's father wakes me up by singing the "Good Morning" song in my ear at the top of his lungs. I start drinking after breakfast. My buddy's (lame) girlfriend shows up and officially causes us a significant amount of drama. We also discover that this skinny underage bimbo that has been pounding beers with us and flirting with everyone is only fifteen and told her parents she was at a rodeo... on Thursday. She is summarily kicked out. My friend ditches his girlfriend and we head to Daytona.
Daytona is awesome... and I could give a fuck less about NASCAR. We went on the boardwalk and continued drinking. We decide to start hurling insults at yuppie teenagers and call anyone wearing Hollister a "faggot". I am shitfaced, and still manage to get a burger. My buddy tells me his girlfriend is pregnant. This causes me to yell a lot and drink more Jager. I went to the Bubba Gump Shrimp resturaunt and did about 8 more shots.
We head home after the police start swarming the beach looking for someone. We wind up buying a handle of jager and drinking half of it on the way home between four of us. We end up all destroyed firing easter eggs with a slingshot.
Day 4. Hangover from hell. Bacon. Biscuit. Eggs... and kids everywhere. Small price to pay.
I will do this again.
Day 2: We wake up and strart drinking at 9 a.m., then go to St. Augustine beach. I find out that St. Augustine is the oldest city in the country. I see Lion's Bridge and learn an interesting story about how the guy that carved the Lions commited suicide because he forgot to put in tongues.
Whatever. The beach is great. Totally non-legal girls are flirting with me because I have tattoos and booze. I get a mild tan and get totally shitfaced. Me and some other guy amuse ourselves by hurling insults at teenage boys and fat people. I discover a resturaunt called... something... and I eat fried shrimp for about an hour and get even more hammered. That night, we come home and drink even more.
Day 3: My buddy's father wakes me up by singing the "Good Morning" song in my ear at the top of his lungs. I start drinking after breakfast. My buddy's (lame) girlfriend shows up and officially causes us a significant amount of drama. We also discover that this skinny underage bimbo that has been pounding beers with us and flirting with everyone is only fifteen and told her parents she was at a rodeo... on Thursday. She is summarily kicked out. My friend ditches his girlfriend and we head to Daytona.
Daytona is awesome... and I could give a fuck less about NASCAR. We went on the boardwalk and continued drinking. We decide to start hurling insults at yuppie teenagers and call anyone wearing Hollister a "faggot". I am shitfaced, and still manage to get a burger. My buddy tells me his girlfriend is pregnant. This causes me to yell a lot and drink more Jager. I went to the Bubba Gump Shrimp resturaunt and did about 8 more shots.
We head home after the police start swarming the beach looking for someone. We wind up buying a handle of jager and drinking half of it on the way home between four of us. We end up all destroyed firing easter eggs with a slingshot.
Day 4. Hangover from hell. Bacon. Biscuit. Eggs... and kids everywhere. Small price to pay.
I will do this again.