You're NOT Psychic!

[Ramune]

My mother is driving me insane with her insanities.
It started quite innocent, just a fad feng shui book here and there. Then came the astrology books, then came being greeted after not seeing her for weeks by "beware of mars transits!!" and now she starts to believe that her amazing psychic powers is bending the universe to her will.

Now here's the amazing powers she claims having:
"The other day there was this horrible article in the newspaper and I was thinking 'someone should write and complain' and guess what?? The next day, someone did!"

"Suddenly I thought of my friend and then she called me! isn't that STRANGE?"

She also prefers to attribute absolutely everything to spirits and ghosts, even if there are perfectly normal and proven explanations. Such as sleep paralysis instead of "an evil spirit sitting on one's chest at night" or undercurrents instead of "unhappy ghost of drowned person pulling other people down".

To her medicine science is another downfall of humanity to her, even after pointing out the average lifespan in the days before modern medicine.

You don't have superpowers, planets aren't floating balls of happy energy with dolphins dancing around them and science isn't out to destroy humanity, now get over it!

[_Kitana_]

Dude... She needs help, take her pretty drugs away from her. I am really sorry, but i am glad you are not believing her bullshit.

[otepsoul]

just smoke her up then she will be normal.

[Bitch]

wow! I mean I've met people that believe they are psychics but the only ones I may even extend some belief to are the ones that don't talk about it. The more you talk about the pretty universe and all it's mighty powers that you either control or contribute to, the less I believe.

She sounds like she just needs to attention and something to believe in. Maybe she is trying to deny the world she's actually living in? Sort of a protection from the "evils" of today's life? Or maybe she just needs a good smack upside the head... ;)

Well, she sounds harmless, Don't let her dolphin protected world get to you. You have yours; let her have hers.

[Unforgiven]

planets aren't floating balls of happy energy with dolphins dancing around them

unless you're on crack

[Ramune]

She sounds like she just needs to attention and something to believe in. Maybe she is trying to deny the world she's actually living in? Sort of a protection from the "evils" of today's life? Or maybe she just needs a good smack upside the head... ;)

Well, she sounds harmless, Don't let her dolphin protected world get to you. You have yours; let her have hers.

It's more a cause of being bored, never coming out of the house and suddenly discovering the joys of internet. Unfortunately she often lands on some kind of tripod hosted page written by "astrogrrll" or similar and takes it for actual valid information.
I just hope she never finds those pages claiming we're living on the inside of the world, that there's cities on mars and that a hole in the north pole gives access to a secret underground world run by alien nazi's.

[GottaHurt]

I foresee.....trouble ahead for this individual....

[Broken]

Ramune:


Would you ask your mother to send me the winning lotto numbers? I know she can't use her superpowers on herself.. So, I will step up to the plate an bare this burden. Texas Lotto..


Thanks and I will buy her a nice big chanting candle for her troubles. I can also get her a sweet deal on hogs wort, and road lizard oil.

[_Kitana_]

Ramune:


Would you ask your mother to send me the winning lotto numbers? I know she can't use her superpowers on herself.. So, I will step up to the plate an bare this burden. Texas Lotto..


Thanks and I will buy her a nice big chanting candle for her troubles. I can also get her a sweet deal on hogs wort, and road lizard oil.

Lets see

there 7 numbers right

first one will be #3..... #8...... #27............#45............#17 ............#5..........#15 .............

I have enough Road Lizard Oil... what I really Need is some zombie flesh and crystal ball...

[Broken]

Lets see

there 7 numbers right

first one will be #3..... #8...... #27............#45............#17 ............#5..........#15 .............

I have enough Road Lizard Oil... what I really Need is some zombie flesh and crystal ball...
Sorry I can't help you with the Zombie flesh. They are like Dragons only found in England.

[_Kitana_]

Sorry I can't help you with the Zombie flesh. They are like Dragons only found in England.

make sure you give me a crystall ball atleast or i shall curse you.

[GottaHurt]

make sure you give me a crystall ball atleast or i shall curse you.

I got some brass balls you can rub and peer at....

[_Kitana_]

I got some brass balls you can rub and peer at....

sorry gh... brass doesn't work. I need the crystal ones so I can guess the lucky lotto numbers like i did for broken

[otepsoul]

sorry gh... brass doesn't work. I need the crystal ones so I can guess the lucky lotto numbers like i did for broken
i have some in my back pocket..

[GottaHurt]

sorry gh... brass doesn't work. I need the crystal ones so I can guess the lucky lotto numbers like i did for broken

Oh these work, very well indeed :cool:

[Broken]

Yeah, I don't like the fact that my Nick and GH's balls are in the same post. Sick Ass Bastards.

[_Kitana_]

Yeah, I don't like the fact that my Nick and GH's balls are in the same post. Sick Ass Bastards.

LoL

ok i am not touching this one anymore

[GottaHurt]

Nothing wrong with my post, or my balls. Now leggo my huevos...

[otepsoul]

Nothing wrong with my post, or my balls. Now leggo my huevos...
gh i never want to see you post the words my balls again :thumbsdn:

[The_DEA]

gh i never want to see you post the words my balls again :thumbsdn:
then quit thinkin aboot it you funnucker

[GottaHurt]

gh i never want to see you post the words my balls again :thumbsdn:


I think I will end all my posts now with my balls.

[otepsoul]

I think I will end all my posts now with my balls.
eww never going to read your posts anymore.

[gumercules]

so yeah. non-psychicness

get back on topic fools

[GottaHurt]

so yeah. non-psychicness

get back on topic fools


I saw this coming...

[Broken]

I saw this coming...

Freaky~~I mean Gumers is so unpredictable.

[gumercules]

thanks, spontaneity just happens to be my middle name

[otepsoul]

thanks, spontaneity just happens to be my middle name
mine is freak

[Ramune]

Ramune:


Would you ask your mother to send me the winning lotto numbers? I know she can't use her superpowers on herself.. So, I will step up to the plate an bare this burden. Texas Lotto..


Thanks and I will buy her a nice big chanting candle for her troubles. I can also get her a sweet deal on hogs wort, and road lizard oil.

She tried that once, using the well known ancient chinese technique of having an enlightened bird pick out carefully scattered papers with numbers on them.
Except we didn't have a bird, so she used my guinea pig. And guinea pigs aren't too smart at taking orders. So after having him stare at the bits of paper for a while she got fed up and decided to go with another well known ancient chinese gambling technique: the throwing of the paper bits onto the guinea pig and decide that the ones that stay on it are winning numbers.
Only 3 bits of paper stayed on the poor confused cavy.
So she repeated this untill she had the right amount of numbers.

No, we didn't win anything.

[gumercules]

:rotflmao:

that is AWESOME

[_Kitana_]

She needs help