UberSkippy
02-28-2005, 10:44 PM
Ok, so after posting about this in the newbie forum I find this one. It's still funny.
I grew up in Idaho. I went to college in a different part of Idaho. In that part of Idaho... also known as hell... or "Northern Utah" there's nothing to do. Except drink. One other thing to do is go someplace else and drink. So my friends and I drove to a shitburge called Burely. Where my friend's folks owned a ranch because when you live in a shitburge all you can do is own ranches or dream of owning one.
It turns out his dad makes "potato vodka". First off all vodka is supposed to be potato based. Second off this wasn't vodka it was moonshine. Either way we got very drunk.
We step outside to have smokes and there's this pen full of llamas. Llamas are like cammels except smaller. For whate ever reason one of the llamas pissed me off. (He may have spit on us, it might have been the sprinkler.)
So I decide to step over to the llama and explain things. He gives me the eveil eye. I decide to walk away, and he spit on me. A plan forms: I'm going to tackle this llama, sucker punch him and teach him a lesson. I act... I tackle the llama, I throw a solid sucker punch, I realize the llama didn't fall down like I thought he would I now understand just how fucking bad things are going.
Long story full of details I don't remember short that llama proceeded to kick my ass. I mean he beat the holy living shit out of me. But the worst of it was after my friends pulled me out of the pen I broke my nose opening the door to the house. (I have poor door skills when drunk.)
When I woke up my entire body hurt. It felt like I'd been kicked in the sack, all over my body.
Now how the hell do you go back to the dorms and explain to your prick of a roommate that you got your shit canned by a fucking llama?
I grew up in Idaho. I went to college in a different part of Idaho. In that part of Idaho... also known as hell... or "Northern Utah" there's nothing to do. Except drink. One other thing to do is go someplace else and drink. So my friends and I drove to a shitburge called Burely. Where my friend's folks owned a ranch because when you live in a shitburge all you can do is own ranches or dream of owning one.
It turns out his dad makes "potato vodka". First off all vodka is supposed to be potato based. Second off this wasn't vodka it was moonshine. Either way we got very drunk.
We step outside to have smokes and there's this pen full of llamas. Llamas are like cammels except smaller. For whate ever reason one of the llamas pissed me off. (He may have spit on us, it might have been the sprinkler.)
So I decide to step over to the llama and explain things. He gives me the eveil eye. I decide to walk away, and he spit on me. A plan forms: I'm going to tackle this llama, sucker punch him and teach him a lesson. I act... I tackle the llama, I throw a solid sucker punch, I realize the llama didn't fall down like I thought he would I now understand just how fucking bad things are going.
Long story full of details I don't remember short that llama proceeded to kick my ass. I mean he beat the holy living shit out of me. But the worst of it was after my friends pulled me out of the pen I broke my nose opening the door to the house. (I have poor door skills when drunk.)
When I woke up my entire body hurt. It felt like I'd been kicked in the sack, all over my body.
Now how the hell do you go back to the dorms and explain to your prick of a roommate that you got your shit canned by a fucking llama?