The Contract starring Morgan Freeman and John Cusack was, without exception the worst movie I've ever seen. If there is a worse movie out there: I haven't seen it. Stop #1 on my bullet-train to Disappointmentville was watching the movie after this erroneous synopsis on Netflix:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Netflix
While vacationing with teenage son Chris in the wilderness, Ray Keene (Cusack) discovers that a hired killer, played by Morgan Freeman and his team of assassins are tracking the duo. Can Keene protect himself, his son and take down a first-class hit man before his bullet finds its mark? Directed by Bruce Beresford, this action-packed crime thriller also stars Ned Bellamy, Corey Johnson and Thomas Lockyer.
Inaccuracies in bold.
Whoever wrote this didn't even bother watching the movie. Number one, the assassin/hit man and team was never tracking the duo. After Cusack's former-cop character finds the incarcerated hitman on the riverbank after a daring escape, he decides to play cop again and puts his son's life in danger by apprehending the assassin knowing full well that the hit man's team will be tracking them. 1.) Keene and son were NEVER the hit man's target. 2.) The assassin's team was tracking the three of them for most of the movie (that's a trio, not a duo) Then, two campers are added to the group once they are discovered.
Inaccuracies in synopses notwithstanding, the so-called "professionals" were anything but professional. Keene (Cusack) was a former-cop gone gym teacher, but he never once spoke with the voice of authority. Most gym teachers/coaches I knew were wannabe drill sergeants, and most cops I've met are pretty much the same, just bigger assholes. Cusack never sold me on his character.
State Police tracking DANGEROUS criminals dismount a chopper completely unarmed and exposed. The first one, maybe I could excuse, but after the first officer keels over, the second runs out without so much as a can of pepper spray. They weren't even wearing protective gear. Nothing about this movie made sense, and it's 2 hours of my life I want back. The Contract sucks.
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53V3N: If you so much as dream about 3Dradio being wrong, you had better wake up, turn on your computer, login to this site and write him an apology (no less than 500 words). [He really said it.]
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I can't remember the last movie I saw that Morgan Freeman wasn't in. Which wouldn't be so bad if he ever played a different character. He's starting to get on my fucking nerves.
I can't remember the last movie I saw that Morgan Freeman wasn't in. Which wouldn't be so bad if he ever played a different character. He's starting to get on my fucking nerves.
Correction: He's on my fucking nerves.
I think if he ever tried to play a different character, he'd have a stroke and die on the spot.
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53V3N: If you so much as dream about 3Dradio being wrong, you had better wake up, turn on your computer, login to this site and write him an apology (no less than 500 words). [He really said it.]
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I just bought a movie with Morgan Freeman....I'm trying to remember what it was. I think I only own 2 movies with him. I know he's in Lucky Number Slevin.
I had forgotten that I had even seen this movie. You reminded me. Thanks.
/me dies a little inside. Again.
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Originally Posted by Epidemic
Ah ok. You win. But I promise you, I have a penis.
<Rook> you guys because i think that if its ifsomething that you want poem
Most disturbing ect! -- Most likely to continue making up his own fuckies so he wins something! (hey...wait)
I would have to say that two movies I despise and always make me want to stop living are
Donnie Darko
Dead Alive
for some reason these movies have attained cult like status.. and for what!!
Showing some dubm shit kid who thinks he had a brush with a future victim?
And then.. some stupid intertanational POS (and I don't mean point of sale) movie with the dumbest storyline and worse graphics gets the thumbs up by millions of idiots around the damned bong.
Max Magician and the Legend of the Ring has the worst acting, props, and scenes I've ever laid eyes upon. The opening scene has a man in a bastardized combination of Renaissance/Medieval clothing being chased by an assassin in what literally looks like a Halloween costume. What's worse is they try to give a feeling of a Medieval era, but you can see the "assassin's" white sneakers which aren't even remotely hidden.
Add a villain who has goat horns and literally says "Baaaaah!" in a dark and ominous (non-bleating) manner before AND after he says something.
The main character (if you guessed Max, you've proven you aren't severely retarded) walks home with his old friend/grandfather/father/uncle/pedo (they never really establish who the Hell the man is) who abruptly says "speaking of magic, here's a magic book. Go try out some spells." and give Max a huge, old book, which was quite possibly the most convincing prop in the entire film.
He gets freaked out by a talking mouse and tries a spell, which makes a doorway into a tree with all the special effects Microsoft PowerPoint can muster.
These aren't exaggerations. These are quite literally what happened.
How the villain is beaten: The villain is defeated by falling backwards and having about seven laughing mice crawl over him. That's it. Oh, and he turns into a mouse, giving a mouse a helium voice going "Baaaah! Release me! Baaah!"
If you like terrible movies MST3K-style, then I highly recommend taking a whack at it. Otherwise, bringing up memories of watching that movie onsets brain aneurysms for me, so I think I'll go lie down.
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You can't catch me where I'm gonna fall.
You can't catch me where I'm hiding.
The world's too cold, so I'm gonna run.
I'm moving to the Sun.
Max Magician and the Legend of the Ring has the worst acting, props, and scenes I've ever laid eyes upon. The opening scene has a man in a bastardized combination of Renaissance/Medieval clothing being chased by an assassin in what literally looks like a Halloween costume. What's worse is they try to give a feeling of a Medieval era, but you can see the "assassin's" white sneakers which aren't even remotely hidden.
Add a villain who has goat horns and literally says "Baaaaah!" in a dark and ominous (non-bleating) manner before AND after he says something.
The main character (if you guessed Max, you've proven you aren't severely retarded) walks home with his old friend/grandfather/father/uncle/pedo (they never really establish who the Hell the man is) who abruptly says "speaking of magic, here's a magic book. Go try out some spells." and give Max a huge, old book, which was quite possibly the most convincing prop in the entire film.
He gets freaked out by a talking mouse and tries a spell, which makes a doorway into a tree with all the special effects Microsoft PowerPoint can muster.
These aren't exaggerations. These are quite literally what happened.
How the villain is beaten: The villain is defeated by falling backwards and having about seven laughing mice crawl over him. That's it. Oh, and he turns into a mouse, giving a mouse a helium voice going "Baaaah! Release me! Baaah!"
If you like terrible movies MST3K-style, then I highly recommend taking a whack at it. Otherwise, bringing up memories of watching that movie onsets brain aneurysms for me, so I think I'll go lie down.
Never mind... this movie does sound like it's the worst ever. it
Morgan freeman, jack Nicholson, Clint Eastwood, deniro (etc) are to an extent utilizers of a branch of method acting whose name escapes me...
simplified
Its like i am still me personality wise (unless otherwise stipulated in the script), but here are a set of circumstances....and i shall react as me but revised & informed by these new facts of life when they yell action.
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If you're offended by what i say you may have utterly missed the fact i love sarcasm...
I think he did a good job of playing outside his normal character in Anger Management, one of the few good Sandler films.
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You can't catch me where I'm gonna fall.
You can't catch me where I'm hiding.
The world's too cold, so I'm gonna run.
I'm moving to the Sun.
it
