10-15-2008, 08:03 AM
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Answered: Whats with all the insecurities?
I had an extensive conversation about this with a good friend of mine and I want to see what the fine (and not so fine) people of WTF have to say.
Why oh why do so many women have such insecure insecurities that they hinder their ability to have successful relationships?
Every girl I date has some form or another and it's really bothering me. Asking them directly, I get answers like "I had a bad experience" and "You intimidate me."
Most men, much like most women, dig confidence. So why is it that the only women I meet that are fun to be around and carry a hefty amount of confidence ALWAYS have one of the following two things?
1) A severe personality disorder
2) A boyfriend.
What is it about having at least one of those things causes women to be okay with themselves? How do they validate and why?
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  (Chosen Answer) Posted by: [HOSTILE]
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Any man with a fragile ego deserves to be crushed. That shit is supposed to be made of steel...
Okay, I suppose I am saying that most of the men with broken egos get it because some silly girl said something to him to push his buttons. Anyone with any damn sense whatsoever knows they do that shit on purpose. Just laugh at them and carry on.
Some women need a boyfriend to make them feel appreciated. This is especially true when daddy is not around anymore to coddle his little princess and fuel her sexual fantasies about him.
Women complain all the time about the "idea" of being beautiful- "boo-hoo, they're so pretty and I'm not". In my experience, rather than make themselves beautiful, they want to make excuses and whine... I suppose the pity-attention is easier than anything you would have to work for.
Sadly, an even more significance of attractive, cool women make themselves a pain in the ass by needing more validation. I don't know what it is, but you let one pretty boy get in their panties and leave them, they start hating themselves.
Fact: The women you are encountering are usually self-loathing, or at least have problems directing their anger/bitterness. They are spending so much time trying to make up for the shit they fucked up (or didn't fuck up), they go nuts.
A consistent number of "little girls" talk shit about my ego- but here it is: I don't need to wake up in the morning and have someone tell me I look great. I can get there myself, and know it. I also don't go blaming myself when shit falls apart and it isn't my fault. I laugh about it and carry on. I love me.
As to why a confident woman is always taken: Well, the same reason those cool jobs like testing video games and Nerf guns are gone. They're the best, of course someone is going to jump on them.
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10-15-2008, 08:17 AM
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I think its because just about every woman you've ever met has been raped or molested... that does something to someone's mind.
Then on top of it, everywhere you turn you have some corporation or group of the most popular people telling you what beautiful is... for some damned reason women fall into this little trap and feel like crap when they don't meet the socially acceptable standards of what is beautiful.
I think its sad... cause i personally don't give a crap what people think and i think nobody else should either.
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I wish i could shoot society in the head.  
Ive been loading up on chili and garlic grilled cheese sandwiches. That way when i fart it smells like a dead baby took a shit.
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10-15-2008, 08:49 AM
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It's because they're pretending insecurity while plotting all the changes they need to make to you. Once that initial "shy" is gone, then it's bitching and moaning for life. Enjoy the insecure time, it doesn't last long enough IMO.
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10-15-2008, 08:50 AM
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why some women are nuts
Hetero Men fist fight or kill each other and its over ...Women like to shit on each emotionally/socially by picking out socially unacceptable flaws {relative to the relevant clique} in each other, verbally "sticking the knife in" where it hurts most {using personal confessions to really ghet that bitch} and ostracizing each other to push each other into unstable psychological territory {no shoulder to commiserate upon}. Then comes rape and molestation to round out the equation {unresolved daddy/uncle/family member issues}....and top it all off with organic crazy and drugs to even out the why some women are nuts equation...
Strong smart women are sexy, but are hard to find unattached
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If you're offended by what i say you may have utterly missed the fact i love sarcasm... 
Last edited by eyeknow; 10-15-2008 at 08:55 AM.
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10-15-2008, 09:47 AM
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I think it's today society that's learned everyone that they need confirmation all the time to be able to feel beautiful, they are not beautiful if not a prettier gf says you are pretty in that dress. You should always weigh less than you are now, you should look perfect all the time and if he doesn't say everytime he meets you, you're not really that beautiful.
I think that's the problem, I myself know I'm a little chubby in the tummy sometimes but I don't care. I like when people say I'm perty but I do not demand it and put pictures of me with the text "Oh I'm so fucking ugly *sob sob* just to get confirmation from all my friends who then say "Ohmygod you are so beautiful! I LOVE YOU xoxo"...
It's alot of the parenting to, if a parent all the time goes "Oh shit I am so fucking fat, look at this!" and then the ads and shit.
so...this time you really can blame society 
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Always look on the bright side of life *tu-tudu-tudududuu*
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10-16-2008, 09:04 AM
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Pretty much what Stardust said.
Women are faced with "this is beautiful" in magazines, movies, online....every day we see what society deems as beautiful and sometimes we just forget our own values. Most of us can keep it in check; like SD said, I know I've got a tummy. Mine came with mommyhood. But my boyfriend thinks I'm hot and that's all that really matters. I think women in relationships seem more secure because they feel validated by the fact that someone wants to be with them. Some women NEED that validation; others of us just relish the fact that we have it and take it in stride.
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10-16-2008, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bathory
But my boyfriend thinks I'm hot and that's all that really matters.
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Wow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bathory
Some women NEED that validation; others of us just relish the fact that we have it and take it in stride.
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Sorry, which category are you in?
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10-16-2008, 09:36 AM
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To continue a little, my parents where/is fat. But they didn't make a big deal of it, sometimes they exercised and trimmed up a little. They made this silent "It is okay to be what you are". I now really thank my parents for being like that.
It is todays enviroment, If you dress to nice you're a brat, if you dress with little clothes you're a slut, if you like natural clothes you're a damn hippie, if you have confidence you're a bitch. This is how people see, well some people not all.
I'm with bathory, I might not look like a playboy bunny naked, but my boyfriend thinks I'm damn sexy. So, good enough for me.
Ofcourse it's nice to get "oh yourre a perty gal" but I don't demand it, as some do.
__________________
Always look on the bright side of life *tu-tudu-tudududuu*
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10-16-2008, 09:43 AM
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To say, "I don't need validation" while at the same time saying, "All that really matters is what my boyfriend thinks of me"...
You know what? Nevermind.
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10-16-2008, 09:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 53V3N
To say, "I don't need validation" while at the same time saying, "All that really matters is what my boyfriend thinks of me"...
You know what? Nevermind.
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I might contradict myself, I'll blame that on my failing memory. But what I meant was, as I can immagine all people need some kind of validation, be it the mirror, a friend or a lover. But lately it has gone over the top, people demanding validation constantly because otherwise they are no good.
The thing that really matters is what I think of myself, I haven't fallen into the dark pit of self loathing and constantly being to ugly. Having one that loves you for who you are is a huge ego booster. For some though it isnt enough. And now I shalt stop writing before I forget what this whole thread was about.
__________________
Always look on the bright side of life *tu-tudu-tudududuu*
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10-16-2008, 09:59 AM
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I don't need his thinking I'm hot as validation. But I do accept the compliments. Why would I NOT be happy that my boyfriend thinks I'm attractive? There's a difference between needing validation and accepting compliments.
If I'd said "I NEED my boyfriend to think I'm hot" it would be different than "I like that my boyfriend thinks I'm hot." Better explanation?
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10-16-2008, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stardust
The thing that really matters is what I think of myself...
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Exactly. If someone else finds you attractive, that's great but it should not be what really matters.
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10-16-2008, 12:46 PM
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