The Classy Broad

**AdrenaLyn** · #1 01-05-2009, 08:51 PM

Since Frankenchokies and Hos are having a whos the bigger asshat contest in the other thread I figured maybe Id go ahead and post my own personal guidelines. Feel free to add your own.

A Classy Broad is always witty. Skating by on looks or sluttiness is lame. You should always be able to hold your own in a conversation, be clever and be able to cut to the core gracefully if need be.

I dont mean literally. A Classy Broad knows how to defend herself if need be, and will never intentionally get her man into a fight.

She will always have enough money to cover a date. On the first date, offer to pay. If he wants to pay, demur gracefully. If he offers to split it down the middle then do so. If he allows you to pay the whole bill, dump his ass.(Only on the first date, after you've been dating it is more than acceptable to pay for some of the dates, and you should always offer)

A Classy Gal knows how to hold down the fort. If you are both working, chores should be split, if he is working and you are not, it is your job to keep the house clean and cook the meals. If you are working and he is not, its his job to clean and cook. A good woman can always support herself, education is a good thing to have.

When out on the town there are a few rules. The shorter your skirt is, the more sober you should stay. Drunk chicks often have signs above their heads that only men (and bulldykes) can see. This sign says "pick a hole, any hole". This sign is not as obvious on a woman in jeans and a nice top than it is on a girl in the full "fuck me" plumage. Some men enjoy their woman looking slutty in public, this is acceptable but do not get drunk. Drunk and slutty looking leads to fights which is not classy.

She will NOT start a fight with another woman except under certain circumstances. If a woman talks to your man, make yourself known but dont go into full on bitch mode unless she touches him. If you are obviously with him and she jumps on his lap(and you know for a fact he didnt initiate it) feel free to punch her in the mouth.

A good woman knows how to throw a punch correctly.

A Classy Broad knows how to make at least 1 showstopping meal, a few appetizers that do NOT include anything in a blanket, one dessert and one cocktail that is their signature.

A Classy Broad will never nag the shit out of her man. She will ask politely a few times and then take care of it herself. Drippy faucet? Call the plumber. Need the lawn mowed? Do it yourself....just make sure to wear short shorts and a tank top.

Thats all for now...its taken me 2 hours to type this up due to the kiddos.

**kich** · #2 01-05-2009, 09:37 PM

Teeth? Check
Tits? Check
Toes? Check

If she has all three...she's classy enough for me.

*HoneyImHome* · #3 01-05-2009, 10:28 PM

I can agree with pretty much all of that.

Ummm, I was talking about Lyn's statement although kich's made me giggle.

**AdrenaLyn** · #4 01-05-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by kich

Teeth? Check
Tits? Check
Toes? Check

If she has all three...she's classy enough for me.

Well I suppose in alaska its hard enough to find a woman let alone one with all her teeth and digits....

**Bathory** · #5 01-06-2009, 07:23 PM

I've always agreed with the check deal. I've always offered to split it then accept when they deny me. I've paid for my fair share of meals though.

**kich** · #6 01-06-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by AdrenaLyn

Well I suppose in alaska its hard enough to find a woman let alone one with all her teeth and digits....

It's not a big deal like it used to be. the gender divide is pretty much right down the middle.

It's not quantity now... it's quality. I think biology dictates that when women are in cold climates they gain fatty mass.

And not in ways that fill out their figure and make them look healthy and attractive. Oh, no...

**53V3N** · #7 01-06-2009, 10:17 PM

Isn't there some crazy 4:1 male to female ratio in Alaska?

**kich** · #8 01-06-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote: Originally Posted by 53V3N

Isn't there some crazy 4:1 male to female ratio in Alaska?

Once again...no.

Not in years. And not unless you go to the remote villages, many of which are Native.

And most of those Native villages have a 'No-White-Man law'. If you even enter some of them...your fucking ass disappears.