WTF?! » Generally Speaking » Brain Droppings

[Woodreaux]

... and it makes a normally great dish fantastic!

I've been doing a little bit of cooking lately. Sort of a meditative practice I've taken up. In an effort to connect with my geographically severed New Orleans roots, I've taken to learning, practicing and enjoying home cooked Cajun, Creole, CoonAss* food.

In the past few months, I've thrown together some mean-ass red beans, Jambalaya, Shrimp Etoufee and other things. In the last 2 weeks, I started adding chemical X into the mix. BACON.

I didn't understand why dog food commercials marketed BACON-BACON-BACON!!!! to dogs so much. At breakfast, I dismissed bacon as being too salty and greasy. But then, for shits and giggles I put some bacon in my red beans. OOOooooooohhhh SHIT!! Those where some badass red beans.

Then, I put some bacon in the last batch of Jambalaya. It was had four meats. Read it:

• Andouille Sausage
• Chicken
• Smoked Ham
• Motha Fuckin' Bacon

Combined with the augmented Trinity, Jalapeno'n Habanero peppers, plus the 10 spices that went into it, this was some yum-yums not to be trifled with. I ate the fuck out it!!

But I strongly believe the bacon was what pushed that batch to the next level. If you are cooking up a signature dish and you want to make it kick even more ass, add bacon. I don't care what it is. Put some half a pound a bacon in there. It'll make you want to slap your mamma.

• Making Suchi? Secure the shashimi to the rice ball with a band of bacon.
• Vegan? Need something to add flare to those sauteed vegies? Fry up some bacon in the pan with those nasty green devils and turn those frowns upside down!
• Passover? Tired of bland gefelta-fish? Serve the fish mush wrapped in a lattice of bacon. It kicks too much ass.
• Wanna put the POW!!! back in Kung-Pow chicken? You got it! Throw in some bacon while you stur fry those celeries and water chin-nuts.

The possibilities are endless. Bacon offers a real hope for the nationwide culinary disaster that has ravaged England for as long as I can remember. Seriously, bacon is the key unlocking the latent potential in so many underachieving dinner courses.




* CoonAss: NO, it's not a racial slur. CoonAss came into use in Louisiana between the French descendants (a white on white cultural backslap) before racists bastards started calling black people Coons. It's OUR word, KKK, not yours. Suck my balls, you bigots.

[Epidemic]

I like crab wrapped in bacon but I don't like crab by itself.

Honestly, I'm a terrible cook. Where do you people learn what you know?

[53V3N]

I'm in the process of establishing The Church of Bacon, as bacon should be worshiped. I'll let you know when we're up and running.

In the meantime, can I come over for dinner?

[lethal_lefty]

 Quote: Originally Posted by Epidemic

I like crab wrapped in bacon but like crab by itself.

Someone call Scooby and the gang, it seems someone stole your proofreading ability.


My general train of thought is that anything that will take a few years off my life via clogged arteries and taste delicious in the process is tops in my book.

[Woodreaux]

Excellent point, sir. Coming up on the Gulf Coast, I ate Gulf Coast crabs, which are considerably smaller than these West Coast horse crabs. The thing I loved about eating crabs as a kid was dipping the meat in the yellow-greyish guts. I'm not a marine biologist, so I don't know which organs those were... but I know they were tasty.

Of course, the bigass crabs in other regions allow bacon options!!!

[Epidemic]

 Quote: Originally Posted by lethal_lefty

Someone call Scooby and the gang, it seems someone stole your proofreading ability.

You edited that quote. I NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE.

[kre8orofchaos]

I would like to add something to your list.

Marinate shrimp in lime juice, garlic, small amount of brown sugar, green onion, touch of cayenne, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and a little ginger root for about an hour or two. Then take a half strip of bacon and a sliver of jalapeno wrapped around the shrimp and secured with a toothpick and fry them suckers up. You can opt for a sweet mango salsa, or a garlic remoulade dipping sauce. Its bomb! You can also do it with chicken.

Bacon = king

[Darklight]

so then bacon icecream?

[kre8orofchaos]

 Quote: Originally Posted by Darklight

so then bacon icecream?

 Quote: Originally Posted by david lebovitz

Bacon Ice Cream
About ¾ qt (¾l)
Like my butcher, I loved the salty taste of bacon with brown sugar, but I'm also going to be folding bits of candy bacon into Coffee Ice Cream in the future. Or maybe get really crazy and try little bits in a batch of Avocado Ice Cream.
If you don't have half-and-half, simply mix together heavy cream and whole milk in equal proportions. I'm not sure about dairy alternatives, but since this doesn't fall into the vegan category, I think this time I'm off the hook. ; )

For the candied bacon;
5 strips bacon
about 2 tablespoons light brown sugar
For the ice cream custard:
3 tablespoons (45g) salted butter
¾ cup (packed) brown sugar (170g), light or dark (you can use either)
2¾ (675ml) cup half-and-half
5 large egg yolks
2 teaspoons dark rum or whiskey
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract
optional: ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

1. To candy the bacon, preheat the oven to 400F (200C).

2. Lay the strips of bacon on a baking sheet lined with a silicone mat or aluminum foil, shiny side down.

3. Sprinkle 1½-2 teaspoons of brown sugar evenly over each strip of bacon, depending on length.

4. Bake for 12-16 minutes. Midway during baking, flip the bacon strips over and drag them through the dark, syrupy liquid that's collected on the baking sheet. Continue to bake until as dark as mahogany. Remove from oven and cool the strips on a wire rack.

5. Once crisp and cool, chop into little pieces, about the size of grains of rice.
(Bacon bits can be stored in an airtight container and chilled for a day or so, or stored in the freezer a few weeks ahead.)

6. To make the ice cream custard, melt the butter in a heavy, medium-size saucepan. Stir in the brown sugar and half of the half-and-half. Pour the remaining half-and-half into a bowl set in an ice bath and set a mesh strainer over the top.

7. In a separate bowl, stir together the egg yolks, then gradually add some of the warm brown sugar mixture to them, whisking the yolks constantly as you pour. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan.

8. Cook over low to moderate heat, constantly stirring and scraping the bottom with a heatproof spatula, until the custard thickens enough to coat the spatula.

9. Strain the custard into the half-and-half, stirring over the ice bath, until cool. Add liquor, vanilla and cinnamon, if using.

10. Refrigerate the mixture. Once thoroughly chilled, freeze in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's instructions. Add the bacon bits during the last moment of churning, or stir them in when you remove the ice cream from the machine.

Candied Bacon Ice Cream Recipe - David Lebovitz

[CopyLifted]

Bacon goes with everything!!!

Put it in your Fruity Pebbles bitches.

Bacon is #1.

[JLXC]

All hail the PIG! My friend swears by bacon wrapped shrimp, I thought they were pretty good, but he loves them.

Also: Pigs have the longest orgasms in the world, the males, coincidence? I think not.

[Stardust]

My boyfriend loves when we make out of buttonmushrooms:


take out the "leg" and put in flavoured butter(so?), preferably garlic. Then wrap bacon around the mushrooms and then put the babies on the grill. He loves them.

[HrlyQnn]

I didn't know there were this many fans of Canadian bacon out there.

[CostaLady09]

I LOVE Bacon!!! I put it in everything, My cabbage has bacon in it when I cook it. I place bacon in my green beans.......HMMMM.......Lets see I even use the bacon grease to cook home made cream grave......



I AGREE BACON IS THE SHIT!!!!!

[steelasp]

 Quote: Originally Posted by 53V3N

I'm in the process of establishing The Church of Bacon, as bacon should be worshiped. I'll let you know when we're up and running.

Every religion needs a symbol.