1) Happy Birthday. Honestly…it’s a mile-marker. Only the elderly should be congratulated for making it another year, but only if they’re VERY old, and they’re contributing to their longevity. It’s seriously like saying “Hey, way to go falling out of your mom a number of exact Earth orbits ago.” I propose: “_th annual fell out of your mom award”.

2) How are you? If you’re not REALLY interested, don’t ask. Most of the time, we get “fine, thanks. You?” There is that chance that you’re setting yourself up, though. That’s like pretending to be concerned about your friend’s mom’s colon surgery and having to sit through the fully detailed dissertation with graphic charts. Possibly photos. I propose something much less informationally intensive: “Don’t tell me about your poop chute.”
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In typical “Top Ten” fashion, we’ll start at 10 and work our way down. Of course, this means that fails will start with simple little things and then degenerate to the straight up stoopit. Yes. I spelled it “stoopit”.

10) This one’s perpetrated by veterans and noobs alike: Table-Breaking images. Okay, look, guys. Resizing photos is not an aneurysm provoking computing operation. In fact, it’s quite simple. So simple, in fact, that most image hosting sites will resize them for you. Photobucket, for example, hosts all images you see here that are posted by yours truly (unless I just steal the URL from elsewhere on the net). They will not cause the entire site to crap itself and drool. You might, but not the site.
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Lately I was sidelined with a thought. It’s hard enough to figure out sometimes who to take seriously sometimes. It was then that I realized that no one has yet come up with a comprehensive list of people who should never be taken seriously under any circumstances. I then decided that I should undertake this project on my own. Not because I am some kind of subject matter expert, but because I am never taken seriously myself anyway, so not like anyone’s losing anything here.

So, without any further procrastination, my list of...
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